literature

SKF fanfic

Deviation Actions

Hagurumon's avatar
By
Published:
682 Views

Literature Text

{Open to Nick, Baby and Smithy in Akagi's bedroom.}

NICK: And that's why those machines are- Are you sleeping?!

SMITHY: No... I was just... counting the stalagmites... on the ceiling...

NICK: And why were you drooling?

SMITHY: I was captivated... by the beauty... of the stalagmites...

NICK: Uh-huh. Why're you fantasizing aboot chunks of rock when you have a girlfriend?

SMITHY: I have a girlfriend?

NICK: Yeah. Nikki.

SMITHY: Who's Nikki?

NICK: That hot chick. With the orange hair. My clone.

SMITHY: Uhh... not ringin' any bells there, H-man.

NICK: Grrrrr.

{Roxy and Mandy are in the living room, where Thom is trying to watch TV.}

MANDY: My theory is that... uhh... Nick died. Twice.

THOM: You're blocking the TV.

ROXY: If Nick dies, do we have to get all his creepy stuffed hot chick dolls with the removable clothing?

THOM: You're blocking the TV.

MANDY: I... don't think he has any of those.

ROXY: Dude. I lived with him for a long time. I think I know what I'm talking about, missy.

THOM: Still blocking the TV.

{Randy walks in from the left.}

RANDY: Is Nick here?!

MANDY: No. He died.

RANDY: Oh. Hey, did you ever notice that our names rhyme?

MANDY: No.

RANDY: Oh... can I use the phone?

THOM: We don't have a phone. Now move so I can see the TV.

ROXY: Hey, uh, Randy. I'd hate the spoil your fun and all, but Macen has a restraining order. You're to stay five miles away from him at all times.

RANDY: But I live next door.

THOM: You people are just begging for death by katana.

{Mike walks in from the right.}

MIKE: Hey, I want a zombie puppy.

THOM: Yo. People. Move.

{Nikki and Scott walk in.}

SCOTT: Whoa, is this a party?

NIKKI: Want me to bring some nachos?

THOM: Oh, come on! Cheerleading Accidents Gone Bad is on!

{Macen enters.}

MACEN: I didn't authorize this meeting. Begone!

THOM: Augh, @#$%!

{Cut to some nekkid guy standing in front of a bush.}

NEKKID DUDE: ...What?

{Cut to Nick, Baby and Smithy at Goliath's restaraunt.}

GOLIATH: May I take yer frickin' order?

NICK: Wait, how'd we get here? Weren't we just in Akagi's hideout?

SMITHY: When people offer you food, you don't refuse it. You accept it. Now let's begin the fudgesicle madness.

GOLIATH: We're out of fudgesicles.

SMITHY: Oh. Well, then, let's begin the doggy doodle madness.

GOLIATH: We're out of those, too.

SMITHY: ...wedding cake madness?

GOLIATH: We're out.

{Smithy has an angry look on his face.}

NICK: Chill, Smithmix. We'll just get some spaghettis.

GOLIATH: We're out of those, too.

{Pause. Nick then tackles Goliath and commences the crap-beating-out-ofing. Cut to the "party" in the living room. Thom looks extremely annoyed.}

TV ANNOUNCER: This is the result of a cheerleader trying to do a split while jumping over hot teenage jocks.

CHEERLEADER ON TV: Aaaaarrrgghh!

THOM: Man, I really wish I could actually see this action.

{Thom looks over at the door.  Scott walks in, holding a dead cow.}

SCOTT: Hey Dad, I got the hamburgers.

MACEN: Scott! You're supposed to cut the cow up into tiny chunks first!

{Everyone else starts randomly throwing up and rolling around on the floor.}

MACEN: Is tha really necessary, guys?

NIKKI: Macen, what's wrong with you? Don't you even care aboot animals?

MACEN: Not really, no. Now go sit down before I call my thugs.

NIKKI: You don't have thugs.

MACEN: Oh yeah? Jerome!

{Jerome pops up out of nowhere.}

NIKKI: Uhh...

JEROME: Yo, girly. I have a car in my living room. And it has a back seat. Hows about we get some makin' out done while we wait for all your friends to keel over from the poison we planted in the dead cow beef?

{Scott collapses.}

NIKKI: That was... kind of extreme.

THOM: If it'll get everyone out of the way of the TV, then by all means.

{Cut over to Nick, Baby and Smithy in a ball pit.}

SMITHY: Wheeeeeeee!

NICK: Wait, what? Weren't we just- Ehh, whatever.

SMITHY: Umm... Nick... I think something's wrong with Baby.

NICK: Why?

SMITHY: He hasn't come back up yet. I think he's permanately submerged in fun li'l balls!

NICK: How aboot you go down thar after 'im?

SMITHY: I'll need some kind of plasma hyper-suit to protect my body from the atmospheric pressure down there.

NICK: Here ya go.

{Nick reaches his arm toward Smithy, as if handing him something.}

SMITHY: Thanks.

{Smithy dives underneath the balls.}

SMITHY: Cassidy!

NICK: No.

~FIN~
Because nobody ELSE will write one. >_>

...I really don't know what this is supposed to be aboot.
© 2006 - 2024 Hagurumon
Comments2
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
BlessedLightning's avatar
HOLY SHIT!
IT'S TEH GOOD WRITING!